One year ago, I was going through a period where I’ve been disappointed by love. It was a general affair and I was not on good terms with some of my closer friends / significant other / colleagues / family. Practically a lot of people in my life. It wasn’t anything serious at all, but I was feeling very dejected when all of it came at one go and I grew disillusioned with the quality, stability and permanence of ‘love’ in my life.
I started to distance myself from these important people in my life, unwilling to face disappointments and further disillusionment. I told myself that all of them didn’t really care for me that much.
What is this love that they speak of zealously, and promised to me? Words are cheap. I shouldn’t have believed them and landed myself in a negative state at that time.
Just like that, I gave up on ‘loving’ people for a few months. I started to care less, tried my best to be more independent than ever before and not rely on anyone. I felt less unhappy if I stayed away from everyone. Indeed. But I wasn’t happy, too.
This isn’t exactly an advice I want to give to myself. Because I’m glad I came out of that dark period in time and it was only after going through that period that I realised this. That period was absolutely necessary in my life. But perhaps someone else could use this advice. And perhaps the future me would need this advice again.
My advice is…
Love is still the best. Always choose to love. Love yourself. Love your friends and family. Love strangers. Love your favourite pen, and love your personal mug. Love won’t forsake you. Try not to hate on others. And after you extricate yourself from hate and disdain, you will realise that it isn’t anybody’s fault at all for what’s going wrong in your life. Everybody heals with love. Only after you love yourself and others, then can others love you back.
It is hard to put into words how good love is. I can only say that it feels so good to love and have love.
I’m glad I picked up love again and I’ve learned how to love better now. If you’ve forsaken love for a moment, I hope you can pick it up again. And then maybe you can be the one to put it into words for me, about how you healed with love.